Instructions #2 (Blogger beta you will not bring me down just cuz you erased my last meaningful entry)

(1999)

Write a diary of all of your bad ideas and bury it will you will never find it write a diary about all of your bad jobs and distribute it within 100 feet only of those places create your own fox 11 undercover news and do stories about all the cool things going on where you live give a guided tour of your past tell someone else about someone else’s past like it is your own-secretly you may heal them too crash a hoity toity party in a gold lame outfit and breakdance badly on a piece of cardboard all the while yelling “whaat whaat” regularly give shout outs to random places you have never been (example Tallahassee) break a parking meter, as you will make other people smile when they realize they don’t have to pay go on broadway and third street and downtown with five hundred dollars and you will be able to get married and then get divorced immediately. Invite your friends, loved ones, and strangers. If you don’t have enough money have a fundraiser carry a picket sign just in case you go on strike cover your hands with elmers glue. Let them dry. And peel it off pick a house or building you like. Throw your shoes over the telephone wire to claim your space. That trend needs to travel make a book of all of your embarrassing moments recreate someone else’s embarrassing moment. It may make them feel better about it sit near a window around sunset with a cd player. Sing along with whatever is in and look at your reflection next to the picture on the cd.say "I am a fuckin' star". Offer to clean a stranger’s house do your own episode of huell howser’s California gold because he cannot possibly know about the wealth of everywhere and nowhere make your own lecture series create your own religion film your own porn. i desperately need it. shake your ass as swiftly as you can and dedicate a mantra to the hottentot because she still might need it draw a picture of a ceo and post it on a wall be a slave for a day make a travelogue of your daily journeys the next time that you want to kill the vermin, roaches, or ants in your house, don’t. buy a t-shirt and add a story or a picture in a place where you will be able to return it. Someone will buy your art. Each time you say a word, say it twice to say the effect it has on those around you make a confessional booth that celebrates our inner desires of greed, suburbia, domesticism, and psychosexual desires draw like you are a teenager pretend you are in